Thursday 25 April 2013

Not so internal monologue

I don't drive, well I do, I'm learning and so I'm not allowed to drive without supervision just yet which means I have to suffer the bus to work two out of every three weeks when I can't get a lift from Ian. The other day I happened to still have my iPod paused as I sat down and I really couldn't help but earwig on half of a conversation. 

There's a girl on the bus, she's in an anorak, hair scraped back, glasses on, her earphones are in, her phone is in her lap, she's talking non-stop, there's nobody next to her. For about 15 minutes of the bus journey she was seemingly suffering from a case of severe verbal diarrhoea and I couldn't concentrate on my book

You ignored what I said... You did

She's in trouble for not responding to a text now... 

My alarm goes off at 6, I woke up, changed it and went back to sleep. Didn't even acknowledge my texts, I just changed my alarm and went back to sleep. Babe I just changed my alarm. I'm sorry

I've text her saying I'm on the bus and she's not even acknowledged it 

The cheek! She's just been saying she hadn't read any texts and there she is complaining about someone ignoring her texts.

In between words she's sniffing, I can hear her despite my earphones being in (music off, obviously, I need to know what she's going to say next)

Yeah well you won't see me till Friday so let's hope you don't wake up with it on Sunday... But do you throw up? I get the bug but don't throw up, that's why my mum doesn't believe me, that's the problem with having a good immune system.

At this point the woman sitting in front of me started mouthing something to a woman on the outside of the bus. She was doing that thing where rather than speak you mouth the words in a really exaggerated fashion because that makes it more clear (it doesn't). 

Someone else speaks

I'm done in mate, done in

I can't distinguish any of the people any more, there's a low level of noise, nobody's conversation stands out now. I have no excuse not to be trying to plough my way through The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo so I put my iPod on random and leave the strangers all talking to themselves. Is it always like this on the bus?

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