Monday 3 June 2013

In which I go round and round in circles

I hate exercise, I really do. If you love it then that's fine and to be honest I'm a little bit jealous of you. If you know me in real life, or even if you follow me on Twitter those two sentences will be a little confusing because I am always on about going to the gym. I go every night, Monday to Friday, unless I have something else planned for straight after work. Every day as I approach the gym I secretly will for something to have happened to the building that would mean it was closed for the day. You see, I can't justify to myself skipping a visit there, not going is being lazy but if the decision is taken out of my hands I feel ok about it. I think I've had this routine for about 7 years now, I was super fat when I joined the gym, I was pretty lazy about it then too but I went anyway because a friend I worked with was going to and it really helped my motivation. She stopped going but I didn't, I carried on and got the exercise bug once it started working and the weight started coming off. There was something I hadn't banked on, and I know this is really really stupid, but once you've got really fat and you start to lose weight you have to change your entire lifestyle, there's no going back to being a couch potato unless you want to undo all that hard work. They don't show you that on the TV shows do they? They just show someone drop a few lbs, go on Gok Wan's programme, buy some sucky-in-knickers and that's that. Nobody tells you before you get fat that if you want to not be fat you're going to have to start exercising and you're bloody well going to have to keep it up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally thick, I just wish I'd realised this before. You see, my body seems to have got used to a high level of exercise and when it wanes I really notice a difference. And that is precisely what I'm fed up with, the prospect of a lifetime of having to force myself to run/cycle/cross train regularly just to keep up what I started. I wouldn't mind but I'm not even as thin as I once was but that was unsustainable. Now however, I'd like to drop a dress size but I just can't find that motivation in me any more, or maybe I don't want it enough? There's pretty much no point to this post whatsoever, it's just an outpouring from my brain, through my fingers and onto here. I'm going to stop now because I need to put some lycra on and get myself to the gym where I will complain almost non-stop about being there.


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