Wednesday, 15 May 2013

When your heart sinks just a little bit

Right, before I write the rest of this post, I am not fishing, I am not being needy, I am merely getting something off my chest. 

The other week I bought the most amazing dress from the Yumi eBay Shop, it's something I've wanted for a while then forgotten about, a vintage car print dress. It was a bargain at £14.99, I didn't really need it, in fact I shouldn't have bought it because it was still two days till pay day but I needed something to cheer me up. Fuck me did I get it wrong. It's not the dress (although it is incredibly static-y), it's me. I look fucking atrocious in it. You know when you see something on the hanger or in a picture online and you think to yourself "that's it, the (thing) I've really wanted for ages, it's perfect" then you try it on and it turns out you were wrong? That's what happened to me with this dress.

I waited a couple of days before trying it on, I had a feeling it might be too small so I put it off. Finally I tried it on, it zipped up but it looked awful. I'd go so far as to say I don't think I've felt quite so fat in a long time. I'm the first to admit what I see in the mirror isn't the same as the image of myself that's in my head. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, I lost 7 stone and got down to a size 0*, yet putting that dress on made me feel like taken 100 steps backwards. 

I almost tried it on again at the weekend, there's a bend in the bedroom mirror which, depending on where you're standing, can make you look considerably bigger than you are. I couldn't bring myself to, I knew I'd hate what I saw.

Funny how one little thing can bring your mood down, isn't it?

This is the dress, I bought the navy blue version and I didn't get it from USC but there's nothing on the Yumi eBay store now. 

Yumi Car Print Dress £12.00 from USC (source)

At some point I ought to put it on eBay because they don't do returns... Unless I find anyone else who might want it first

*I am not that small any more and that makes me sad.

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